Walmart is the Spawn of the Devil!

The Devil! The Devil I tell ya! Walmart has been the bane of my existence for a long time now. I can’t just “swing by” Walmart. I have to lurk. I have to browse. I am like a woman in a clothing store in Walmart. A simple task of getting dog food ruins my day!

Here’s the breakdown. You see, I recently moved out to the sticks. A small town in Oklahoma that is about 30 miles from the next small town. Now my small town doesn’t happen to have a Walmart. In the city, I could just run on down a mile away to the nearest Walmart and purchase my goods. Now I have to use 1/2 a tank of gas and drive to a different area code to get dog food.

Boomer and Jake are picky little bitches. They will only eat a certain kind of food. Now it isn’t expensive stuff but they don’t sell it anywhere in Eufaula. Sooooooo, I have to drive 30 miles to Walmart in McAlester.

I jump in the car a couple of days ago, on my day off I might add, to “swing by” Walmart. I get there and enter the large, spacious treasure trove of consumer goodness. But alas, it is not goodness! It is the Devil’s work pulling me in. 2 hours later I leave Walmart after spending $282.34! I got good deals. There were bargains. What the hell do I have to be whining about?

Well.. I start on my return journey to the casa. I get home about 30 minutes later and begin to unload my car. Bag after bag of my recent tidbit purchases. But wait! What have I done??!?!?

I FORGOT THE GOD DAMN DOG FOOD.

It was the Devil! I swear! He made me do it! Damn you Walmart, damn you straight to hell!