Sometimes You Gotta Whoop an Old Man’s Ass

Well.. I was VERY close to going to jail today.

Let me tell you the story…

I have beagle.. he is about a 11 months old. He is the nicest dog I have ever seen. Anyone that comes by.. he follows them around and even tries to leave with them. He is a people person.

My next door neighbor has 2 dogs that like to dig. They dig under my fence to allow Jake to come over and play. Well.. the have a cattle style gate that allows Jake out to the front yard. He usually says in the yard unless this older lady that walks the neighborhood walks by the house and he will go on a stroll with her.

I let him out back today while working on the website.. about 20 mins go by and I hear a yelp.. I chuckle because that means he hit the electric fence trying to get out.. I open up the back door to see and he is standing there head drooped. He hobbles in and I turn on the light. He is covered in blood. He has about 5-6 wounds and my first instinct is dog fight. He is limping really bad and after close inspection the wounds look less like punctures.

I jump in the car and head to the vet up the road. After knocking him out we get to shaving around the wounds. Doc looks up and says “Yep.. Jake saw the business end of a shotgun.”

Instantly I am pissed. Why? Because I know EXACTLY who did it. When I had Boomer, my mom’s dog, here they would ALWAYS get out. I saw a older guy, about 60, that lived around the corner. He told me that they are “running the neighborhood” and I needed to keep them in the yard. He said “I peppered them to try to get them to come home but they ran off.”

I told that M’Fing bastard that if he ever shot at my dogs again.. we were gonna have issues.

rent a car bulgariaThe doctor removed 4 pellets from Jake.. one in the top of the head and 3 from his legs and butt. Yes.. I said butt. This means this jackass fired one shot to hit him in the head (and through one ear by the way) and then shot AGAIN as he was running AWAY.

Keep in mind from the picture.. Jake is a BEAGLE. Not a Rott, or a Pitt.. A BEAGLE.

I went to the guys house. Drove up to the front door.. (yes.. all the way up in the yard to the front door **NOTE: I was pissed**) and knocked. He came to the door and the conversation went like this…

“You seen my beagle today?????”

“ummm.. er… noo.. why”

“Well.. someone decided to shoot him with a shotgun.. more than once, as he was running away. He is at the vet right now getting looked at for multiple wounds. A seeing as how you are the only self-confessed asshole I know around here.. I thought I would pay you a visit.”

“well… er.. It wasn’t me.. that is bad”

“You think it is bad? Let my dog have one more injury.. one more scrape.. Hell.. he could get beat up by another dog.. and I will be paying you a visit. I told you once that if you ever shot my dog again we would have a conversation. The only thing keeping me from beating your old ass right now is I like my job. I have the right mind to tie your ass to this porch and pepper the shit outta you with my own shotgun. This shit happens again.. and I might start returning your pellets the easy way. Remember that, C#$% S#c$er!”

I jumped in my car and went back to the Vet.

In hindsight what I did wasn’t the best of ideas.. but I was pissed and that’s my best friend. You don’t $#(% with friendship where I am from.

Jake is home with me now.. he is limping still.. and groggy from the drugs.. He finally ate and is sleeping at my feet by the heater.. so all is well.

If I am gone for 3-6.. you know why
Pictures are attached below

Guitar Hero is not for Old People.

So I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! I went home this year (the first time in a long time I was able to hang out for Christmas with the fam). My nephew got Guitar Hero III for his Playstation 3. I had heard and seen this game but never played it.

Not gonna lie. I am bad. If it was on easy mode, I could do it.. lets say.. easily. Push it up to medium and add that 4th button and my mind and fingers didn’t move that fast.

My other nephew Mike, (Who didn’t own the PS3) was able to play the Metallica song “One” on expert right out of the gate. The speed that those little button-thingies flew across the screen and his ability to keep up amazed me a little. I had no problem pressing the buttons but having to strum the bridge and press them at the same time was what kicked my ass.

He told me to check YouTube when I got home as there were some crazy videos of folks playing it.. He was right. Check this nutty shit out.

Boredom and a Scanner, BAD Combo!

Editor Note: This is a happy post! My hate has gone missing. If you have seen it please call the Oklahoma Highway Patrol.

Well.. I couldn’t think of anything to write about today so I decided to try to arrange some the crap I have laying around the new house (I say new, I have lived here since June!).

So I am digging through the treasure trove of boxes from Mom’s garage and I found a gold mine! My 5th and 6th grade yearbooks! Reading back over want people wrote was hilarious but the moment was fleeting. One can only read so many “TTL! BFF!” and “Stay Cool this Summer!” or “You are cute and sweet!”

I did find a picture that brought back some memories! My first love! My first Kiss! My first pair of… um… roller skates for couple-skate! I don’t know what happened to her, but if you know, please let me know! You will always hold special place in your heart for your first love! You can tell that I REALLY loved her from the heart drawn around her picture. Back then that meant practically married (I hope I don’t have to pay back alimony)! We “went steady” for about 2 years off and on and her yearbook signing stated “I love you, come hang out this summer and going swimming sometime (anytime!)”. Ahhh.. young love. ::::tear::::

As I dug further through the boxes I found another picture from my youth. I did a stint as a Electronics Liquidator. I would bid on equipment from companies upgrading or going under and then sell off the parts for more money. My buddy Frank and I stumbledupon a once in a lifetime deal where we had already had buyers for the stuff before making a bid on it and we were going to make a $28,900 profit. So what does a 21 year old do with the $14,000? Buys a boat of course! It was a well worth it. Not gonna lie. This is a pic of me (in the Adidas hat), my unbelievably drunk friend, and um.. er.. um.. Damn it. I can’t remember her name. I was drunk a lot that summer. I can describe the tattoo she had in a NSFW spot though so that makes it OK!

No.. this is not the Partridge Family. It is mine! I am that sexy 3 foot beast of manliness on the left. And no, my oldest brother was NOT in Warrant. We look so happy there. It is amazing we are all still alive. My sister next to me and my brother on the far right are actually my step-siblings. I don’t see them that way but they are. My mother married my step dad when I was 3 so they are all I have ever known. Looking at this picture makes me think about something my mother said to my late stepfather once. They made a deal when they got married that they would each discipline their own children. He was very strict and my mom is very laid back. After we had all grown up they were sitting on the back porch talking. She calmly looked at him and said, “You know, You raised your kids strict, and me laid back but you know what?” “What’s that,” he replied. “They are all equally fucked up.” Love you too mom!

Well there you have it. My day of treasure hunting. And the thing is I never did get the crap put up. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

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